Updated: Apr 16
Happiness is always right in front of us, we just need to be able to see it clearly
Life is an amazing paradise, One that is often not notice. This Paradise comes with struggles that are meant to make us even after breaking us sometimes. I can see why most of us miss the paradise because our human minds tends to focus on the struggle part much more than noticing the lessons that come with it. That right there has been the biggest and hardest lesson I’ve had to learn. Everything I've lived and have went through is meant to make me, Including those experiences that sometimes break me down. I use to think breaking down was not an option and if I did, it only meant I wasn’t strong enough, the truth is that we should allow ourselves to breakdown, to feel, to hurt, to enjoy and to cry as well as laugh. We should allow ourselves to feel the moment for better or for worst because whether we are going through a rough patch in our life or passing through a beautiful garden we should learn something from it. I use to hear people say “We learn something new everyday,” and I use to question it and think to my self “I do learn new stuff just not everyday.”
I admit that 32 years into my life I can now say I learn something new every day. Yes I learn from daily situations, friendships, relationship, encounters, decisions and mistakes. Everyday I analyze my every move before and after I make them, because I have set out to be a better version of myself everyday. Knowing that I will make mistakes and that sometimes knowingly or unknowingly I will and have put myself in situations where I should of known better has become a learningexperience to become a better me everyday while making changes in my life along the way. Accepting that there are friendships and relationships and even encounters with certain people that are only temporarily and understanding that some where necessary to teach me a lesson has been a part of “looking at the bright side” or “the bigger picture”. I have lost “friends” and “family members” who I love very much but I have to accept they where put in my life for me to learn about relationships as well as to remind me of who I don’t want to be. There is no such thing as a perfect person, I acknowledge and accept that in some situations I have been the one to hurt others and for that I apologize to all and anyone who has felt betrayed, disrespected, or hurt by me. The perfect person doesn’t and will never exist; however being imperfectly perfect is a real thing. Being imperfectly perfect to me is being myself with all and my mistakes while always keeping in mind that imperfectly perfect is also acknowledging my mistakes and making a change for the better.
There is people in this world who will never accept when they are wrong and they will never learn from their mistakes. They walk this earth never making a change and a lot of times repeating the same story over and over again. To those people I will not allow myself to judge you; however I will pray for you because I was that person at one point in my life, always feeling like I was a victim of all that I lived through, a victim of this cruel world, a victim who walked around feeling sorry for myself while unintentionally hurting other because of my own pain and hurt. Mentality that mind set did nothing but kept me down, kept me from seeing all the potential in me, all the opportunities life actually put in front of me and all the blessing I was actually gifted with by life. Life is way more than all the bad in this world, life is more than all the negative encounters, life is now a school to me. This school is meant to shape me into a better human being and yes there is those horrific moments we go through in life but even those happen for a reason. One quote I’ve come across and I love to abide by is “When you can’t control what’s happening, Challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That’s where your power is.”
Challenging myself to control the way I respond to what’s happening hasn’t been easy it took me years of pain, tiers, traumas, and mental break downs. It’s easy to enjoy the moment when life is giving us flowers and butterflies the hard part comes when we are getting lemons thrown at us. With every lemon that hits us comes this excruciating pain, a lot of times opening old wounds, wounds we never managed to heal. Some of those wounds we thought where closed and healed because our human mind has put them in the back of our brains blocking whatever happened instead of facing it head on. Sometimes facing our fears, traumas, mistakes and life experiences seems more painful than actually dealing with the pain it has caused us and others. We think putting a bandage over it is enough. The truth is that with out that painful healing process we never actually get over what bothers us and if anything it makes it worst, when those lemons hit us and they open those wounds the pain is worst our mental state gets jeopardized and when our mental state is jeopardized our potential true us is affected and the person that we could be is not. Our fair judgment is off and that is when we meet that evil, hurtful, none carrying person who walks around speed bumping over others while causes them and ourselves more pain.
Part of healing is accepting what we have endured in this life while learning from it. If someone hurt us as a child we should make an effort to grow up and be a loving adult who cares about children’s wellbeing and not that monsters who turns around and hurts a child the same way or a different way than how we where hurt. If we lose a friendship or relationship to betrayal, dishonesty, or disrespect no matter if it was us or them let’s remember to be a better partner or friend to others. Remembering what we don’t like about others and ourselves and acknowledging the ugly in us should be a daily routine that encourages us to not be that person. A lot of times while we are trying to deal with what we have been through at the hands of life and others we forget to analyze who we are to the world and those around us. It’s easier to point fingers while ignoring our mistakes. It is difficult to acknowledge who we are or have been to others when its not a pretty picture, but definitely not impossible and even better we can learn from those mistakes to do better by our immediate circle as well as those we may encounter daily.
When we learn from our own or others mistakes we become a carrying human who carries themselves with a respectful and selfless personality . We learn to make this world a better place with little and almost insignificant acts of kindness. A simple “Hi good afternoon” to that stranger at that grocery store parking lot, Or that person who we let through into our lane while they almost missed their exit, or maybe even just thanking that waiter for his patience who patiently waited while we made up our mind with that brunch menu, and most definitely acknowledging when we are wrong and asking for forgiveness along with our changes in character when necessary become some of the smallest but most important things that remind us that life is beautififul and that we can make a difference in someone else’s life regardless of how un-meaningful the act might seem. We don’t know what someone else is going through and those insignificant little acts of kindness maybe just be what that person needed at that time. When we have those itty bitty connections with the world we realize that slowly but surely we are sharing the little bit of happiness while making an impact in a positive way and Ourr Pursuit of Happiness has been shared even if only for that short moment.
Happiness is not wealth or a life with no struggles. All though I will admit life maybe seem easier with financial stability and maybe a dream-able perfect life. But even with all the money in the world and no real life lessons we would still feel an emptiness. Because life would not be life if lessons where not a part of it. Life circumstances even the ones we put ourselves in and the ones “we should of known better” are meant to be for the purpose of our own educational and personal growth. The next time you feel defeated, broken and disappointed by life take a moment to look at all the events that lead up to that particular moment and remind yourself that there is a lesson to be learn and possibly some personal changes to be made, even if we don’t see it right then and there lets trust the process, trust ourself and most importantly trust life, the universe or God what ever we believe in that gives us strength and reassurance. And let's allow ourselves to laugh, cry, scream, hurt and or enjoy that moment because the hardest part already happened like some people say now its time to “grab the bull by it’s horn” and remember who we are and what we are made of and if we don’t know who are then we are about to find out.
Quotes from Motivation App
“We don’t know how strong we are until we have to be.”
“Look around you there is so much to be great full for every day”
“Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone. Don’t stress about the future, it hasn’t arrived. Live int he present and make it beautiful.
“The secret of being happy is accepting where you are in life and making the most of every day.